![\"\"](\"https:\/\/ronmeijering.nl\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Fenna-300x200.jpeg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I was a happy child, I smiled a lot.
\nBut one day I was scared.
\nScared to be replaced, to not be enough.<\/p>\n
Every day I walked into the school bathroom and threw my sandwich away.
\nI ate less, I smiled less, I went out less.
\nI asked for more and more attention.
\nI screamed to fill the void inside of me.<\/p>\n
When I was 9 I went to my first therapy, then to my second and my third.
\nPeople said it was a phase, nobody knew about the food thing, I didn’t think it was a big deal.
\nWhen I was 14 I went to a psychic ward, I screamed for help, but I was alone. They said I have autism, but I didn’t believe them.<\/p>\n
They didn’t know me, they didn’t want to help me, they didn’t like me.
\nI wasn’t enough, 3 weeks later I was suddenly home again.
\nMy parents loved me again.<\/p>\n
In the 3 months that followed, I smiled less, I got out of bed less, I ate less.
\nMy mom would cry at night because she thought I would die.
\nI was happy, because finally she cared, finally she was sorry she locked me up.
\nI hurt people and I got hurt a lot.<\/p>\n
Now I’m writing this and thinking of all these moments I cried at night, when I wished I was dead.<\/p>\n
I am 16 now, my life is not perfect but I am alive. Sometimes I am alone, but not lonely anymore.
\nSometimes I cry, but I am not depressed anymore.
\nSometimes I am not hungry, but I am not anorexic anymore.
\nI am not perfect, but I am enough.
\nAnd I have always been.<\/p>\n
Door: Fenna Slangen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was a happy child, I smiled a lot. But one day I was scared. Scared to be replaced, to not be enough. Every day I walked into the school bathroom and threw my sandwich away. I ate less, I smiled less, I went out less. I asked for more and more attention. I screamed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1774,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1772","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-persoonlijke-groei"],"yoast_head":"\n